Nick’s BHWT, November 19, 2021

Hi everyone!

So, the good news continues as I embark on my health journey. We are nearing the close of cycle 3 which is good news because next week I’ll complete cycle 3 and that means we are half-way through the overall chemo treatment plan. Time flies when you are busy getting healthy!

Although the oncology team monitors many areas, there are four markers the oncology team tracks and discusses with me specifically. This week I got my hemoglobin results which went up from the previous week and went to the highest it’s been – I’m now at 9.7% which went up from 8.8% the week before. And to put things in a perspective, I started at about 7% in mid-August and now we are at 9.7 with the goal of getting over 10%.

The hemoglobin level is a main indicator of my anemia level which the cancer impacts and why I passed out twice in the early stages when I was at the 7% … So, we are so relieved that the numbers have increased, putting me out of the fear zone of passing out again.

Also, my back pain continues to remain at a minimum and my flexibility and strength is getting stronger. One indicator that my back is improving, is that I have now reduced my back pain killers which is in step with getting off the pain meds.

In full transparency, I have pushed myself the past two weekends so this week I have been intentional about reeling it back in. The last two weekends I have done a lot of personal things by going out and away, so this past Monday I was not feeling well – I ended up sleeping and resting most of the day. The good news is that I have the desire to get out there and live life fully and I realize that I went too far by doing too much. The weekends are a time for me to chill out especially now that I am starting to work full-time. So, I have been better this week about slowing it down, creating better boundaries with work and going to sleep early. Anisa even asked if I wanted to drive up to our CT place and I declined because I want to avoid the two plus hours of driving back and forth.

Personal Observations:
Inside of my journey, I have been present to what friendship really means and what type of friend I am to my people and community. With that in mind, there’s a study that I came across about friendship.

Although friends usually give better support, sometimes it's easier to open up to strangers. New research (see below): we hesitate to reveal our insecurities to friends to avoid the pain of being reminded of them.

I believe that true friends don't remind you of your insecurities. Instead, they support you in overcoming them and provide love and compassion along the journey.  This is a good reminder in how we interact and relate with our friends especially when we are “up against it” and dealing with big things. Jack Canfield’s lovely quote sums up my sentiment well, “Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly.” Boom!

What I have realized is that friendship requires much more of you than even being in relation with your family. When it comes to being friends, there’s a lot less in it for us to be in that relationship together vs. being in the relationships with family so it requires that you are intentional about tending to the friendship relationship.

What I mean is that with family, there are several hallmark and cultural occasions throughout the year (holidays, weddings, funerals, birthdays, sweet 16s, religious events, etc.) that put you in a position (or force you) to connect. For example, I have a cousin who once a year, on 12/6, sends me an email to acknowledge me for my name day (a Greek thing). With family, you may stay in contact because of financial obligations, or obligations in taking care of elderly parents, etc.

My point is…there are lots of reasons to stay in touch and connected with family. With friends, less so. Think about it. Why do you stay in relationship with your friends when there’s no financial gain, or an obligation that you feel you need to fulfill like you do with family, etc.?

When it comes to friends, it requires you to be intentional, be caring and be outwardly focused to make those relationships valuable and meaningful. What I am realizing is that being intentional requires being proactive in making the time to see them (even virtually), reaching out and thinking of ways to make a difference and to being supportive. I’ve even found myself during the last few months being more in the mindset of asking my friends questions simple ones such as, “how are you doing or dealing with xxxx” and then just listening – no fixing or adding any advice (which is a stretch for me) and just being with their experience.

I love the last line from the movie, Stand By Me, “I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12. Jesus, does anyone?”  I have a friend Paul who I met on my first day in kindergarten where we shared our lunches together (this was the start of supporting each other in growing our bellies) so I very much agree with that line. We are connected spiritually and in the deepest way that’s unique than all my other relationships. Of course, it’s no surprise how loving and supportive he’s been these past three months and in all my life.

All that said, I would invite everyone to think about who you can BE and what you can do to create the experiences with your friends like the ones you had when you were 12. I know for me discovering new friends during the last three months and rediscovering and reconnecting with friends from my past has filled my soul and heart and has served as an X factor in getting healthy.

True friendship requires much more of you to sustain and to expand. And I am realizing that the investment is so important for one’s health. So go BE intentional.

With love, healing, and friendship,
Nick

As I mentioned, I pushed it this weekend and it was kinda of worth it :) My friend Lou invited us to a private event at the “House that Jeter” built. We had a blast and little Julian would not leave the field.

With my eldest -- Elias has been so thoughtful and kind in taking care of his Baba. He’s always looking out for me and asking how he can help.

Yes I’m covering up my belly. My brother-in-law, Mike, threatened to oust me for the cover up so I’m coming out clean.