Nick’s BHWT, September 19, 2021
Hope this email finds you healthy.
Kicked the week off with big news – this past Monday I started my full chemo treatment. My plan includes the following:
1x a week visit Sloan for chemo treatment (IV)
Do this for three weeks (1x a week)
Every day I take a chemo pill at night
Do this daily for three weeks
On the fourth week, I take a break from both the in-person visit and the daily pill
So far so good-- my body has responded to this first week of treatment. Yay! The side effects to note: 1) I’ve been super tired, 2) the bottom of my feet have been cramping and the muscles getting tight (think of an ongoing Charlie Horse) and 3) I’ve had a wicked case of dry/cotton mouth (reminds me of some late nights from my youth) .
I also received the Moderna booster shot to support my compromised immune system. Again, my body seems to have responded well overall and I’m grateful for the extra protection the booster provides.
Personal Observations
This week I came across an email that my dear friend Pavel had shared several years ago when he was on his cancer journey. He shared, “There is a Zulu word and philosophy called “Ubuntu”. As taught to me, it means “I am who I am because of those around me.” It speaks to the essential connection to others that is required to fulfill our potential as human beings …That I cannot be my best self unless I allow myself to be connected, authentically and honestly, with other people. That simply, life is a journey best shared with others.”
Really beautiful and powerful. And such a timely and disruptive thought for me.
I’ve spent times in my life having the experience of being alone (even though I’ve physically always had an abundance of people in my life) – it was a made-up story. We are after all, meaning making machines It was a disempowering made-up story that I could only truly rely on and trust myself. What I am realizing on this journey is that I was the one creating the separation and I did this as a form of protection.
Pavel’s email …this experience …has completely disrupted this disempowering story which no longer serves me or the people in my life. My new story is that I am connected to something much much larger than myself – by being connected to something larger, it gives me the strength and superpowers – superpowers that give me the confidence that I can take anything on.
My new story that I am now channeling is that I am whole and complete. Loved and connected to the universe. And that when it all boils down, that I have had a successful and full life because I have this immense connection with friends, family, colleagues, the world, etc.
Lastly, I’ve really had a challenge falling asleep and getting a good night’s rest. Part of the challenge I believe stems from being on so many meds and part of it is that my level of anxiety elevates at night. The meds have contributed to some serious hallucinations :) I’m working on figuring out how to get the sleep situation under control.
Like the character, George Bailey, from the end of the movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life,” when he was in a crisis and his world seemed dark, his friends and people rallied around him – and as everyone rallied around him, his brother declared and toasted…” To my big brother George, the richest man in town.”
I am the richest man in town because of our connection and your support.
Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers.
With love and healing,
Nick
My first chemo at Sloan. Ate a ton of crackers!
Friends sent me chicken soup from Zabar’s (highly recommend it :)