Nick’s BHWT, September 26, 2021

Hi, friends & family,

I am pretty pumped after watching the Yankees sweep the Redsox this weekend. This is exactly what the doctor ordered, and I’ve made a request to keep this as part of my treatment plan. 

I’ve now completed two weeks of chemo treatments and my body seems to be responding well (knock on wood). Aside from a dry mouth, occasional chills and cramps in my feet, so far so good which is really encouraging. I’ve started to take magnesium to eliminate the cramping in the feet (I mentioned last week that the cramping turns into a perpetual Charlie Horse) – the magnesium is definitely helping.

This week will mark the end of my first cycle (I will be doing six cycles) which is great because then the following week (wk of 10/4), we can evaluate the markers and numbers to see our progress after one cycle.

Also, more good news …my sleep improved over last week when I reported having a challenge getting rest. I was approved for medical marijuana, so I wonder if that had anything to do with better sleep?  Hmmm…lol. It is so good to be able to sleep which is key to my recovery.

Lastly, my biggest concern right now is my back. As you may recall, I had a kyphoplasty procedure on 9/1 for my back to cement/repair five breaks/fractures. During the last three days my back has been both spasming and it’s been extremely achy to the point where it’s impeding my movements. It’s discouraging because the back seemed like it was getting stronger since the procedure – I was walking a lot, increasing flexibility, minimal pain. So this really stinks and definitely has me worried. I’m going to be following up this week with the docs to see if it makes sense to get images to see if there is any new structural damage. Stay tuned …

Personal Observations:
I have remained positive during this process (with my moments of course) looking for the positives, framing things in ways to stay empowered and using specific language to manifest a desired outcome …all good and will continue to do so … And I’ve noticed that I have not allowed myself to get angry and pissed. Like really angry. I’ve been so super cautious in avoiding going to a victim’s place and a ‘poor me’ place, that I have disconnected from my upset …which really is also part of the experience. And that’s okay.

I realize that by not connecting to my anger, which is real, it’s not serving me …and certainly not healthy to pretend that it's not bothering me. I do believe that I can be both angry and optimistic and have a range of emotions simultaneously. I am choosing to not be afraid of being mad and upset at my situation – instead I choose to be honest and authentic.

I’ve stayed away from connecting to my anger because I keep hearing over and over the importance of being in an empowered mindset who sees a positive outcome unfolding …And I am completely aligned with this sentiment …and …I can be both as I said above. 

I am optimistic and do believe I have an amazing medical team supporting me …and I am upset that this has all occurred. I am pissed that I’m (and my family and friends) going through this intense journey. It’s not cool and I’m super pissed. No one should have to deal with this type of situation!!!

Lastly, I believe by giving myself permission to connect to the anger it allows me to make this whole situation real. I believe that I have been in a state of shock since I found out the news on 8/10 and it’s only now this week, by allowing myself to feel all the emotions, that it's really starting to hit me …oh shit, I have myeloma and I have an intense journey ahead of me.

Thank you all for the continued messages, texts, emails, calls, food deliveries, gifts,  prayers, etc. – I absolutely have a rock star support system (YOU). And a special shout out to my 90-year-old mama (soon to be 91) who calls me every day and pumps me up – she literally has become my personal inspirational speaker  All kidding aside, watching my mom operate with such strength fills me up knowing how committed she is to my recovery – my mom truly is the most courageous human I know and I want to be just like her when I grow up 

With love and healing,
Nick

My friends know me way too well. They bought me a Beatles vest!! I’m going to wear this vest at my recovery party in the near future :)

It’s great to have friends who come from the old country. Homemade chicken soup and latkes. Oh how yummy.

Slippers!!! Thank you again to my friends who are taking care of me. Super comfy.

My inspiration. Look forward to our Red Hulk/Green Hulk play fighting.