Nick’s BHWT, Cycle 2

Dear Friends & Family,

Cycle 2 is underway! This past week I started my second cycle of chemo and the oncology team continues to be positive about my progress. This past week I was also able to complete the infamous MRI.

The MRI revealed some awesome news and some less awesome news. The awesome news is that the MRI shows that the myeloma in my body (in the marrow) has decreased and that there are no new lesions and tumors. The less awesome news is that they found four new fractures in my back – they are considered minor and I met with the back doc who wants to wait on doing another procedure. He believes that my body through the chemo treatments will help to strengthen my bones.

Lastly, my short term disability is coming to an end and I will be back at work on Monday, 10/25. Oh boy. You may be asking if I’m ready? And the answer is ….Yes & No. The good news is that I will be working remotely and I will initiate some specific accommodation requests – e.g. not having back to back meetings and being able to take breaks after meetings. I am committed to taking care of myself as I transition back.

Personal Observations:
We were visiting our CT place last weekend and we bumped into our neighbor who we made friends with over the summer. As we were talking, I noticed that five …ten …and then 15 minutes had gone by and our new friend, Isabelle, had not asked me how I was doing – 15 minutes in and not one word about the “C” word. Interesting. And not surprising which is why I bring it up here …

I believe it’s important to give people the space (like Isabelle) to have whatever experience they are having around cancer (there I said the C word) and people are entitled to their reaction without being made wrong – many of us have a personal experience with cancer so we shouldn’t judge how people handle the topic – we don’t know what’s there for them.

All that said, what I also realize is that it’s important that I am treated as me…treated as a person with whom you can discuss anything with including how I’m doing with cancer. And not as a patient who you tippy-toe around. I believe that when we relate to someone as a person (and not the patient), we interact with their better version of themselves …we interact with them (in this case me) as being very capable.

For me, during this period, it's important to relate to me as Nick the dude where we can discuss anything…not as Nick the patient who “cant handle everything”. Relate to me, as someone who does welcome the support and love from others (YOU)…and at the same time, I am more than enough to navigate through this intense time. In fact, the more you relate to me as Nick the dude, the more strength you give me to navigate successfully because I really feel your belief in me.

Secondly, I have been connected to my father’s cancer this past week. In fact, I was really present to his cancer journey when I first got diagnosed. As a  background, my dad passed away from anaplastic thyroid cancer 25 years ago. It was an intense experience that definitely left a mark on me. I would even say that it was a traumatic experience for me – I’ve never said it quite like that before and it's really liberating to acknowledge that my dad’s passing was traumatic.

My dad was diagnosed Labor Day weekend and passed about 4 ½ months later. It was a traumatic experience for me, especially since I spent a lot of time with him at his treatments, doctor’s appointments, trying to keep him positive, etc.

My opportunity now is to remember that my dad’s experience is different from mine. As I said, the experience was intense …one filled with lots of bad news from the start and throughout the process. I need to keep reminding myself that just because my dad experienced set-backs during his journey, that doesn’t mean that I will experience similar set-backs and challenges. My journey is entirely different from his, and I get to choose how I react, respond, handle, approach etc. everything related to getting healthy. I own my journey and what happened 25 years ago is entirely different.

To bring to light what I mean …when I first got diagnosed 2 ½ months ago, I lost my voice that first week – I was so distraught and freaked out that my voice was gone because my dad had lost his voice during his treatments and had a hard time communicating. At that moment, my first reaction was to panic that his results were identical to mine  …I had to remind myself that a major reason why he lost his voice was due to his cancer being in his throat and that my voice being gone in that moment was unique and different.

I miss my dad immensely. Like so much. And I know that the best way to honor him, and myself, is to make powerful choices that are healthy, authentic and true for me. I own my journey and I get to navigate through it on my terms.

Thank you for being on this journey with me! Your support and love is making a huge difference.

With love and healing,
Nick

This is the last time we were out before the diagnosis. Forever grateful to have Anisa as my partner and I can’t wait to dance again. And I will not get off the dance floor this next time.

YiaYia and her grandkids celebrated her 91st this past week.

The boys came over and brought Katz’s Deli. Yummy!!

Powerful Papa D women. I'm in safe hands with my Greek bodyguards.